The world says masculinity is “toxic.” Everything the world says is backwards. That means…
Masculinity is Medicine.
My Guarantee To You:
In three months, we will permanently change the course of your life as a man…
Or I will work with you until we do.
It’s hard to miss the conversation today:
“Where have all the good men gone?”
It doesn’t matter where you fall on the political spectrum, what it means to be a man is on everybody’s mind.
Probably including yours.
The tragedy is, many boys grow up today with absent, angry, or checked-out fathers.
So they never get a crucial question answered for them:
“Dad, what does it mean to be a man?”
With all due respect to single mothers, who work hard to support a family while parenting at the same time…
A mother can change an embryo to a boy, but only a father can change the boy into a man.
So if you’re a fatherless or under-fathered boy, you might be in your 20’s, 30’s, or even 40’s and beyond and still be wondering:
“What does it mean to be a man?”
If that’s the case. I understand.
To prove to you I understand, I want to show you something.
This is me today:
And this is me in 2012:
Incredible, right? Like a different person?
What if I told you that a transformation like that is possible for you?
And what if that new you is closer than you think?
In fact, he’s already inside you.
Curious? Read on…
You’ve probably heard at least one of these names:
Successful. Accomplished. Powerful.
Each a man in his own right.
But are they YOU?
Are you a battle-hardened Navy SEAL?
Skilled MMA fighter?
Galaxy brain professor genius?
Because ask yourself these questions:
Do you want their lives… or your own?
Do you want their dreams… or yours?
Must every man be made… into the image of another one?
Are all of us, as men, longing to be made into OURSELVES?
Here, I’ll make this real:
If we asked our dads, “Dad, what does it mean to be a man?”
… what would he say?
Would he say,
“You should look like that guy over there. He’s a man.”
Or would he say,
“You’ll find out, son…
By becoming the man you want to be.”
My Renaissance Mentorship Program is designed to help you become that man, the man you want to be.
The man you were made to be.
My aim is NOT to remake men in my own image.
In other words…
I’m not trying to turn you into me.
My Mentorship helps you understand YOU.
Then I guide, support, challenge, encourage, and celebrate you in becoming the highest version of yourself.
Here’s how I do that:
Twelve (12) One-On-One Conversations
Each call focuses on you: your thoughts, feelings, hopes, challenges, triumphs, dreams, and fears.
One Extended Kickoff Call
This is when we discover the key events, people, beliefs, habits, mistakes and victories that led you to become the man you are, today.
Eleven More Video Calls
These are where we check in, dig in, and get down to the daily details. I don’t make us stop at 60 minutes, either.
My Men’s Life Map
A Renaissance of Men EXCLUSIVE that helps you understand where you’re at in life, where men go wrong, and where all men are trying to be.
24/6 Access To Me
Reach me anytime on Telegram, including extended voice notes for ongoing support. Except I rest on Sundays. ; )
Emphasis on HABITS and BELIEFS
This helps your outer transformation reinforce the inner, and vice versa. Much more on this below…
Proven Techniques and Strategies
Moving your life forward doesn’t mean reinventing the wheel. I use my expertise from 20 years of inner self work to help you make rapid progress.
Men’s Group Discount
Men’s groups are where we make it all real. In my group, The Forum, you can connect with other like-minded men, discuss life, and learn from each other’s experiences. All under my supervision.
Recommendations for Trainers
Physical fitness is a VITAL part of being a man. With my vetted network of trainers, you can upgrade your fitness with the help of experienced professionals.
Not “Coaching” But MENTORSHIP
No matter where you’re at—young or old, single or married, childless or with a family—my Renaissance Mentorship can work for you.
In all these ways and more, my Renaissance Mentorship can help guide and shape your life into the vision you see for yourself.
Not any other man in the world.
Because the principles of masculinity are timeless.
Together we’ll make them real in your life.
PLUS… It includes my personal guarantee.
In three months, we will permanently change the course of your life as a man…
Or I will work with you until we do.
To be eligible for this guarantee, you must:
1. Attend every video call
2. Commit to regular check-ins
3. Answer all questions honestly
4. Do every homework assignment
5. Build fitness & spiritual practices
If you make these 5 commitments…
And after 12 conversations the course of your life as a man has not significantly changed…
I will work with you free of charge until we make that change.
Because I want you to win.
I want you to have the life YOU want.
I want you to live, abundantly.
Now let’s break down how it all works.
Every man must be able to answer the following questions:
Where are you?
Where are you headed?
How fast are you heading there?
These three questions are about a man’s Position, Trajectory, and Momentum.
By understanding these three aspects of your life, we can make significant changes in a short time.
Therefore, my 12 Conversations are broken into three separate “phases”:
Weeks 1-4: Trajectory
Weeks 5-8: Momentum
Weeks 9-12: Position
Phase 1: Trajectory
In the first four weeks, we work on understanding where you are in life, and where you’re headed.
Then through the installation of simple behavioral and mental shifts… we turn the wheel.
It doesn’t happen overnight, though.
My mentorship isn’t “Follow my three-step bedtime routine and change your life!”
It involves focused effort to examine your life today, and exert pressure on powerful leverage points, which we discover together.
Phase 2: Momentum
In the second four weeks, we feed energy into your new direction.
Think of it like turning the wheel, putting your foot on the gas, and shifting into second gear.
Or even third.
This is often the moment when the steering wheel starts to wobble, trying to take you back to a previous, more familiar trajectory.
In other words, this is where self-limiting beliefs come up, which we examine to keep you on track. (More on this subject below.)
I promise you, once you begin acquiring momentum towards your new life, you’ll want more.
There’s no feeling like it. But…
I DON’T GIVE YOU THAT FEELING.
That comes all from you.
Phase 3: Position
In the final four sessions, we step on the gas.
With eight weeks of wins behind you, and the taste of victory on your lips, we gun it for the finish line.
The objective: you finish the mentorship in a very different place than where you began.
So that when you stand at Point B, you look back on Point A and wonder,
“How did I do that???”
That is the magic of belief.
That is the magic of discipline.
That is the magic of the mentorship.
That is how men transform their lives.
And that is what it means to have a personal Renaissance.
Why is it a “Mentorship” and not coaching or therapy?
This is an important distinction to understand.
Coaches work with behaviors: habits, routines, practices.
A coach looks at the things you DO, and helps you do new things.
The theory of coaching is: “new doing = new being.”
Therapists work with beliefs: What have the events of your life led you to conclude about yourself, others, and existence?
And how do those beliefs make you feel?
A therapist helps you look at the things you believe and feel, and helps you change them.
The theory of therapy is: “new being = new doing.”
But a therapist doesn’t work with behaviors at all. Not even a little bit!
So there’s a split. Coaches work with your behaviors, and therapists work with your beliefs and feelings.
But we as men are both!
And not only that, we need to change both to make a meaningful difference.
Because if you change your behaviors without changing your beliefs…
You’ll drift back into behaviors more aligned with how you feel inside.
If you change your beliefs but don’t have guidance in how to manifest those new beliefs in your life…
You’ll get confused, lost, and waste valuable time figuring things out on your own.
That is what makes my Renaissance Mentorship different.
We work with both your beliefs AND your behaviors to create durable, lasting change.
AND you don’t have to do it alone.
I have a bone to pick with many “men’s coaches” and content creators.
And it relates to some of my favorite films:
The Lord of the Rings Trilogy
You ever notice how many different types of men are in those movies?
• Tall and Short
• Young and Old
• Stocky and Thin
• Wizards and Warriors
• Horsemen and Hobbits
But you know what ISN’T in those movies?
EVEN ONE INSTANCE of one type of man looking at another type of man and saying:
“I don’t think you’re man enough.”
How ridiculous would that be??
Look at this photo from “The Fellowship of the Ring”
You know what you DON’T see in this photo?
Any of these men looking at another and wondering if he’s a “real man.”
No one thinks Gimli’s less of a man because he’s short.
No one thinks Gandalf is less of a man because he’s old.
Aragorn and Boromir aren’t arguing about who’s more “alpha.”
The Hobbits aren’t skilled warriors. Plus they’re half the size of everyone else!
Because JRR Tolkien knew something that men today have lost sight of:
There’s more than one way to be a man.
Yeah I said it.
You don’t have to have a beard and a baseball cap to be a man. You don’t have to drive a flashy car or fly in a private jet.
You don’t have to “roll jiu-jitsu” or enjoy cigars. You don’t have to stand 6-feet-tall.
And if you do all of those things, that’s fine, BUT…
Just because a man doesn’t do any of them, doesn’t make him less of a man.
Now here’s another “men’s movement” trick:
Every content creator who’s trying to shape you into a mini version of himself is selling you on an ideal… one that even HE doesn’t embody.
Because who is he when he turns off the camera?
You’ll never know.
So if you imitate him, you’re trying to become a phantom.
But what if there’s a better way:
What if rather than trying to become another man, you become YOU.
With all your gifts, skills, strengths, and weaknesses cultivated to their full uniqueness.
How would that be?
Pretty great, I bet. Because it means you don’t have to be Aragorn if you don’t want to be him.
You don’t have to force yourself into an awkward “alpha” posture if that’s just not you.
It is sufficient to be part of something greater than yourself… and do it excellently.
Because we don’t have to all be the same kind of man in order to win at life.
Wouldn’t have God made us identical if that were the case?
But don’t take my word for it, or even Tolkien’s.
The ancient Roman philosopher Cicero had something to say about this in his treatise “On Duties”:
“After considering these things, it will be right to judge them in this way: every man ought to deal with the traits he has, and not want to experience those that are more suitable to others.
What is most intimately a man’s own, is what is most suitable for him. Everyone, therefore, should get to know his own character, and become a pointed critic of his own virtues and deficiencies…
We will be most suitable for those things which we are best able to do. But if necessity forces us into something that is not suitable to our nature, all care, thoughtfulness and diligence should be employed, so that we can carry it out, if not with distinction, then with at least as little damage as possible.
We do not need to struggle so hard to follow those ideal qualities that have not been given to us; rather we should struggle to avoid vice.“
And there it is.
You get to be YOU.
Now let’s get started on it, together.
This is part of my Mentorship I’m incredibly proud of:
My Men’s Life Map.
This isn’t the full Map itself. Just the disassembled pieces of it.
The Four Pillars of Health, and
The Three Spheres of Life
Together, these lines and circles can not only help you understand who you are as a man, and where you’re at in life, but where you’re going…
And how to get there.
Not only that, with just these seven pieces I can show you SO much more:
I bet you don’t believe me.
That’s OK. I wouldn’t either.
But inside the Renaissance Mentorship, I will show you the full map and how you can use it to fulfill your dreams and live the life you want.
Because our lives as men are far more simple, beautiful, and elegant than we’ve been told.
Why Do I Need Renaissance Mentorship?
Masculinity is the ongoing pursuit of excellence towards an ideal. We never actually get there. Therefore, every man needs a mentor, because we can always be better.
A mentor helps you see the best version of yourself—the man you want to be—and assists you in becoming him.
A mentor also keeps you on track and accountable for your stated goals. He reminds you of that best version of yourself when life gets chaotic.
Last but not least, a mentor celebrates with you when you succeed.
Then he works with you to prepare for your next victory, and the next.
Every step of the way, a mentor is the man you lean on and look to, to help bring your evolving dreams into reality.
What Makes Renaissance Mentorship Different From Other Coaches?
Most coaches work with clients’ outer lives: goals, deliverables, and plans.
Therapists and counselors work with clients’ inner lives: beliefs, histories, and emotional struggles.
My Renaissance Mentorship blends these practices.
By helping my clients to acknowledge and transmute the “stuff” of their inner lives, their outer goals become less daunting.
By facilitating my clients’ progress towards their outer goals, the struggles of their inner lives lose power over them.
These processes aren’t separate. They work hand-in-hand to create your own personal Renaissance.
This can be a demanding process, but the Renaissance of Men demands the best of the men who join.
Because we’re the men who’ll create a better world.
What can I expect to get out of Renaissance Mentorship?
As with all things, you’ll get out what you put in.
Your commitment to your growth and transformation will determine the magnitude of your success.
But even if you do no work at all, you’ll receive a framework that will transform how you see yourself and your life.
You’ll see the world more clearly and understand your place in it.
That alone can be enough to create a meaningful shift.
What is the difference between Renaissance Mentorship and Deep Listening?
In Renaissance Mentorship, you and I develop a plan to advance your overall well-being in key areas.
We establish deliverables and a schedule, and I keep you accountable.
Deep Listening is different.
Sometimes men need a space to speak about what’s going on with them.
Nothing needs to be “fixed,” no plans need to be made, and no goals need to be achieved.
We just need someone to talk to, someone outside our lives who’ll listen and give us space to be heard.
Deep Listening gives you a chance to hear your own thoughts out loud, work through things, and receive feedback about ways of perceiving that may be holding you back.
It’s a way of seeing your blind spots, but there are no deliverables.
Deep Listening sessions can be purchased one-off. Renaissance Mentorship is a multi-week package.
I’m afraid to open up. Is Renaissance Coaching still for me?
Fear of opening up to others is one of the best reasons to sign up for Renaissance Mentorship.
Fear of opening up holds us back from meaningful connections with loved ones, from speaking up at work, and from discovering our creativity.
If you’re afraid to open up, it probably means you have a lot to share.
If that’s the case, then I guarantee that there are people in your life that need to hear it.
A mentor can help you surface that inner world.
That will enable you to lead a more fulfilling life and be a more fulfilled participant in all of your relationships, as well.
Why is Renaissance Mentorship expensive? Do you offer discounts?
Renaissance Mentorship isn’t expensive when you consider potential benefits:
– a fitter body
– financial security
– a clear mind and heart
– more fulfilling relationships
– peace with your personal history
– success in your creative and business pursuits
– the accomplishment of what you put your mind to.
How much would you pay to have just one of these? Probably more than the cost of Renaissance Mentorship.
I determine my pricing with three factors:
I want nothing more than for you to succeed.
It’s my life’s mission to help bring out the best in men.
I’ve explored religious and spiritual traditions around the world to develop my coaching practices.
It would be almost impossible to find a coach with the same breadth of worldly experience.
Mine is a superior approach, and I believe that fully.
And a man who is prepared to make this financial commitment is a man who is prepared to do great things.
I occasionally will announce limited-time discounts on ads that run during my podcasts.
Will what I share be kept confidential?
Everything you share will be kept in strict professional confidence.
I do not record sessions, and I conduct them in a private setting.
What is your background?
I have a Bachelor’s Degree in Communication from Stanford University.
Communication is what I love to do.
I’ve also been on my own 20-year journey of transformation, from dark and difficult places in my life—grief, shame, weight problems—into a fulfilled man who took control of his life and made it into an expression of his identity.
I’ve also attended transformational retreats around the world—in countries like India, Peru, and Bali—and had the chance to learn from great healers.
This has taught me what works in a variety of diverse contexts and with individuals from many different backgrounds.
The thing I like LEAST about the men’s movement, is that the tools that work for one man are not the tools that work for another.
YES, some men need more discipline.
YES, some men desperately need to earn their self-respect.
But the sad fact is, some men genuinely hate themselves.
They don’t announce it. They don’t walk around saying it.
But inside, they silently wish they were dead.
Self-discipline can’t fix this problem… but it can help.
Self-respect can’t fix this problem… but it also can help. A lot.
Ultimately, for a man to thrive, he has to learn to love himself.
Or, more accurately, he has to unlearn habits of self-hatred he’s acquired after a lifetime of abandonment by parents, relatives, friends, women, relationships, and more.
If this is you, I understand.
Together, in my Renaissance Mentorship program, we’ll help you generate the self-disciplined behaviors to earn your self-respect…
And let you see that you are a man worthy of being loved by the most important man in your life:
What follows is a true story, with details changed to protect anonymity.
One of my clients, we’ll call him “Tim” (not his real name) came to me in his late 30’s, with a wife and kids, but stuck in his ability to achieve his goals.
He couldn’t bring himself to achieve to the level he felt called to.
– not leading at home
– watching his kids fishtail
– underperforming at work
– spiraling into technology addiction
– while his wife failed to achieve her goals!
What was going on??
Tim and I got to talking about his childhood, and his boyhood relationship with his high-ranking military dad.
“I used to work out with my dad in the garage when I was twelve or thirteen. We’d do squats together in his squat rack.”
That sounds cool, I told him.
“Yeah, until one day I got injured working out with him.”
“Yeah there was too much weight on the bar. I hurt my back. I had to stop playing football as a result.”
It seemed odd that a father would allow his young teenage son to put too much weight on the bar, jeopardizing his sports performance.
Fathers are supposed to PREVENT that sort of thing.
So I got curious.
I asked if his dad was there.
“Yeah of course. He helped me load the bar.”
I couldn’t help but ask if his dad knew it was too much weight.
“I think so. But my dad was always competitive.”
“Yeah. When we’d work out together, sometimes we’d race. Naturally he won every time.”
Your dad would race you, and win?? You were twelve!
“That’s just how he was. He was competitive, like I said.”
Let’s pause the dialogue for a second.
Can you, the reader, see the problem here?
A fully-grown adult male competing with a young teenager (and his developing body) is no contest.
The adult will win every time.
So I asked… Your dad was competing with you, you mean?
“I guess so.”
So let me get this straight, I said. You were twelve or thirteen years old. Your dad would do foot races with you, and not let you win. He would go full speed.
Did that competitiveness show up in the gym, as well?
“Oh yeah. That’s why he loaded up the bar.”
“Yeah we were competing. I couldn’t lift as much as him, obviously. But he was pushing me to beat my record because he had just beaten his.”
A father’s job is to protect his son, to help cultivate him, not force his son to perform to his standard.
AT MINIMUM, as a result of his dad’s negligence, Tim injured his back and was no longer able to play football.
He stopped playing sports. He gained weight. His plans to enter the military were ruined.
He ended up going to a local college instead. His back injury would flare up from time to time, preventing him from truly investing in his fitness.
But even worse, whenever he would try and push himself to achieve, something inside him would shut him down.
Something very, very wrong had happened with Tim and his dad.
But before I let him know that, I had to ask one more question.
Tim, what would have happened if you had said you thought that weight was too much for you to lift?
“That wasn’t an option. My dad let me know, in his own way, that he wouldn’t have approved if I didn’t lift it.”
Did you feel seen by your dad in that moment?
“Not really, no.”
Tim’s father had failed him.
Rather than setting aside his competitive nature towards his own son, Tim’s father thought only of himself.
This decision had consequences that affected Tim’s life for decades.
Tim developed the belief that failure wasn’t an option, so he never tried.
And he lived with the fear that if he really pushed himself to achieve at his limits, something would break.
Which is why, in his late 30’s, everything was falling apart. Eveything in his life was calling him to a higher, stronger version of himself.
But a decisive moment in a garage 25 years earlier held him back.
Because in a quiet way, Tim had been the victim of abuse.
His father had failed him.
Which is why together, we helped Tim achieve all of his goals… and much more.
Because together we taught Tim how not to fail himself.
This page is a work in progress!
More information is being added daily!